I don’t know why I’m posting this in English… I guess cos it feels somehow safer to open up. Or mb I've been watching a lot of eng content lately and started thinking in eng again. Actually, it’s first assumption mostly.
After all, to read what's written here, you'll have to do several things) copy this text, open Google translate, configure the languages, paste my text.... Damn, that's a lot!) So, it turns out, only those who actually care about me for some reason will read it. And if you've done all that, please realize that YOU REALLY DO ... Wow... That's worth a lot, really... Maybe you could tell me about it...? It would be infinitely priceless for me...
So. I just want it to be here, as revealing my feelings that is very painful to keep in.
I hate you, 2025. You reminded me that life can change in the blink of an eye. I really really wanted to forget this cruel truth.
But this was the first time it had hurt that much. You took her from me. And with her you took my illusions. By leaving, she had turned my world upside down and forced me to see everything I had cowardly tried to brush aside. So tiny creature , but she had always managed to save me. And this time she had to save me through monstrous pain. Otherwise, everything would not have been revealed to me. She had to remained me to trust myself more.
I hate you, 2025. You showed me that there are moments when nothing moves cos nothing can. And it takes long. Really long. And that there are a few who can deeply understand that. And not in words, in which I did not feel sincerity. 2025, you showed me clearly- I’m alone here.
And yes, I hate you and I won’t forgive you either, at least not yet. You dragged me through truths I didn’t want to face, through loss I wasn’t ready to feel. You left me with wounds that haven’t closed, with breaks that haven’t settled into anything I can understand. I don’t see light in the end of this tunnel, not yet.
You didn’t come to fix me or redeem me. You came to strip away the illusions and show that life is unpredictable and brutally ruthless. You didn’t rebuild me, you left me cut into small pieces and passed by.
I hate you 2025, but you were inevitable. And I hate you for that.
