Steadfastness Upon Niqāb With Wisdom, Patience, and Good Character
📩Question📩
اسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتة
I’m a sister who wears niqab Alhamdulilah my father is fine with me wearing it but has kept it from my family, he says that it would bring up problems. My father’s a revert so his family are all non Muslims. They occasionally have dinners but my male cousin is usually their, I normally go and stuff but now I don’t want to be around him without my face covered as I believe this is what is required of me. I don’t know how I could go as I’m aware it would be extremely uncomfortable for them and cause problems. I need advice on how I can keep ties but also maintain the modesty required from me, as well as approaching them in a kind manner.
بارك الله فيك و جزاك الله خير
📨 Answered by📨
📝Ash-Shaykh Abee Abdillaah
Faysal Al-Hashidee ((حفظه الله))
و عليكم السلام و رحمة و بركاتة
May Allaah bless you, keep you steadfast upon الخير (goodness), and increase you in eagerness, chastity, and wisdom.
As long as you believe in the obligation of covering the face, and you worship Allaah upon that conviction and personal ijtihād, then you should not abandon what you strongly believe to be obedience to Allaah for the sake of social discomfort or fear of people’s comments especially in the presence of non-maḥram men such as a cousin and the like. For the cousin is not a maḥram, and the Prophet(( ﷺ ))said:
‘The in-law is Death.’
Agreed upon (al-Bukhārī and Muslim).
The meaning of this is a warning against being lax with the husband’s male relatives and similar people.
But at the same time, I advise you with a tremendous matter, namely:
That you combine steadfastness upon modesty with gentleness, good character, and patience.
You are living among a non-Muslim family, and your father is a new Muslim.
This means that wisdom is extremely necessary, and gradualness and presenting matters well have a great effect in people accepting and respecting them.
So I advise you with the following:⤵️
Hold firmly to your hijab and niqab with calmness and steadiness, without confrontation, harshness, or displaying contempt for their customs.
Do not make the niqab a symbol of conflict; rather, make it a symbol of obedience, modesty, and calmness.
Strive to attend whatever family gatherings you are able to attend while remaining covered, so that the ties of kinship are not completely cut off.
If there is a women-only place or a possibility of reducing free mixing, then that is good.
If you feel that certain gatherings will cause fitnah or severe pressure upon you, then excuse yourself politely and courteously, without harshness or accusing anyone.
Strive to win their hearts through good character: through smiling, giving gifts, kindness, respect, and humility.
For many people accept what they once disliked when they witness good manners.
Take your father’s situation into consideration; for he is a new Muslim, and he may fear the reactions of his family or the occurrence of disputes that could harm him.
So do not pressure him harshly.
Rather, be a support for him in remaining steadfast, and let him feel that you appreciate his circumstances.
You may also present the matter in a very calm way as though the niqab is a personal act of worship that concerns you, not a hostile stance against them.
Souls are repelled by challenge and confrontation, but over time they may accept what is presented with gentleness and tranquility.
And remember that silent Da‘wah through manners, modesty, and steadfastness is among the strongest forms of Da‘wah, especially with non-Muslims.”
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