HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

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Updated: May 14, 2026 at 4:55 AM

HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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The situation in England: Birmingham’s new mayor was unable to recite the oath of office… in English.

The new mayor, Zakir Chaudhry, a native of Pakistan, delivered a speech while reading from a piece of paper and barely stringing words together into sentences. The ceremony was then continued by a cleric, who recited a Muslim prayer.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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An Australian woman decided to save money on a groomer and gave her dog a haircut herself. The result was hilarious.

Now people are saying the dog looks like someone chewed on it, comparing it to everything from an alpaca to a kangaroo.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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In the Chinese province of Guangdong, rats had taken to stealing food from a doghouse until the owner came up with a brilliant ruse: he removed the dog and put a cat on a chain.

The rat came for food as usual, but ended up becoming the prey itself.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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A Moscow grandmother staged a wild spectacle on her balcony:

She climbed through a window onto the roof of her neighbor’s balcony and destroyed a small veranda filled with flowers and pots.

Afterward, the elderly woman tried long and hard to climb back into her own home.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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Stirlitz has never been this close to failure...

Trump secretly peeked at something Xi Jinping was doing while the Chinese leader stepped away.

Four years ago, Xi’s predecessor, Hu Jintao, was escorted out of the hall right in the middle of the convention for pulling the same stunts.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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— Trump doesn’t speak Chinese;
— Xi doesn’t speak English and always communicates through interpreters;
— There are no interpreters present.

So much for that conversation.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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The best thing you can buy for the countryside is a set of pistol-shaped hands for chickens.

Now your chickens can strut around the yard like real gangsters. The set also includes a sword with an axe, a frying pan for close combat, and even a minigun.

The chicken apocalypse is already here.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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The Australian brand Rat Gizzard Oddities sells women’s underwear featuring real rats.

The creators assure us that for the underwear and other bizarre items in their collection, they use deceased rodents that have been taxidermied.

The price of this perfect gift for a girlfriend is $140.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 24, 2026, 11:34 PM

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Men's "push-up" underwear is the latest trend on social media: instead of working out, guys are opting for special underwear that makes them look like powerful athletes.

No more need to hit the gym 😀

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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A Branch of Hell on Earth: This is what a typical public clinic in India looks like.

A huge line of hundreds of people stretches out to see a general practitioner: they yell, shove, and fight for spots—some even bring chairs and stake out a spot right inside the doctor’s office.

Watch out—you might catch a cold just by looking at the screen.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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A British man dragged a two-ton car using his penis.

50-year-old John Stevenson tied a rope to his penis and dragged a police car 40 meters—and to top it off, the eccentric man was set on fire. He did this to draw attention to men’s health issues.

Previously, the same man had already pulled a wheelbarrow using his testicles, and on another occasion, with his head on fire.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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In India, a woman pelted her husband with his own feces.

The man attacked her with a stick, but got a powerful counterattack: the woman suddenly scooped up a pile of feces in her hand and began throwing it at her husband.

After several well-aimed hits with feces, the aggressor retreated in disgrace.

You can turn off the internet for the day.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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Russian-speaking tourists staged a mass orgy in the water on a beach in Pattaya.

Eight people went into the sea, split into pairs, and had sex right in the water—calls for them to stop only seemed to encourage the heated tourists.

The explicit footage spread across social media and caused outrage among local residents.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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At a U. S. airport, a young woman downed a bottle of tequila in one go because she wasn’t allowed to bring it on board the plane.

After that stunt, the young woman got very drunk, and she wasn’t allowed on board herself.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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In Russia, a pensioner carrying a grenade launcher startled residents of a small town—the photo quickly went viral on social media.

It later turned out that Galina Fedorovna works at the local museum and was carrying a new exhibit there.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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“You look strong. Do you think you could beat me in a fight?” Trump suddenly asked the child.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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A Brazilian man made a very realistic penis costume for a company party, and was fired the very next day.

Here’s a costume idea for any holiday.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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Almost 30 years ago, Jamiroquai frontman J. K. broke up with Winona Ryder because the actress had very large breasts and wanted to have sex with him too often.

She has huge breasts. Bigger than they look on screen. She also had a habit of constantly playing with my sausage. It was exhausting.

It’s literally the “Waiter, my steak is too juicy” joke come to life.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

May 10, 2026, 01:26 PM

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Almost 30 years ago, Jamiroquai frontman J. K. broke up with Winona Ryder because the actress had very large breasts and wanted to have sex with him too often.

She has huge breasts. Bigger than they look on screen. She also had a habit of constantly playing with my sausage. It was exhausting.

It’s literally the “Waiter, my steak is too juicy” joke come to life.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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Turkish politician Orhan Avcı unexpectedly became famous on social media and turned into a meme—but not because of his political activities.

Wonder why?

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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In Mexico, police were unable to locate a missing woman for several days because her actual appearance differed significantly from the filtered photos on social media.

Woman moment.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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Two pilots started meowing and barking during their conversation with the air traffic controller—right in the middle of a flight over Washington.

The controller asked the jokers to behave more professionally, and when they kept meowing, he fired back, “That’s why you’re still flying regional jets.”

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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“You have a napkin stuck to your forehead.”

South Africa’s former interior minister was too nervous during a hearing on a corruption case involving government officials, according to the Daily Mail.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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In Thailand, a criminal case was filed against a cat.

A kitten named Nob Nan was brought to a police station in Bangkok to find its owners, but it went on a rampage, scratching and biting all the officers.

The troublemaker was immediately detained and "processed" to the full extent of the law: a case was filed, her paw prints were taken, and photos were snapped. All charges against her were dropped once her owners were found.

This is the kind of news we should be reading every day.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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A Ugandan army general has demanded $1 billion from Turkey and “the most beautiful woman in the country as his wife,” threatening to close all Turkish embassies in the country if his demands are not met.

You know geopolitics? He invented it.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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Classic Dutch humor.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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The world’s most expensive advertisement turned out to be free—during a livestream from space, a jar of Nutella flew into the frame.

This very moment is currently the talk of Twitter, even though the astronauts set a record for the farthest human journey from Earth.

This ad is out of this world.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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Astronauts who like to pass gas aren’t hired—the Artemis 2 crew explained that releasing gases on a spacecraft can lead to a fire.

Methane and hydrogen, which are present in human flatulence, are flammable compounds. And while at home you can simply pass gas and ventilate the room, on a spacecraft the gas has nowhere to escape, and its accumulation near electronics creates a fire hazard.

That is precisely why NASA monitors astronauts’ diets so they fart less and don’t put everyone in danger.

You know who to upset.

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HUMOR NEWS 🔞 | Telegy

Apr 28, 2026, 12:10 AM

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U. S. military personnel drank more than 3.5 million liters of coffee during the operation in Iran, according to General Dan Kane, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

“We consumed more than 6 million meals, drank about 950,000 gallons of coffee (more than 3.5 million liters), 2 million energy drinks, and consumed a large amount of nicotine.”

According to him, this did not affect the health of the troops.

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